So, it's been a while. It's been a crazy hard time in my life. It still is. I'm trying to see more of God's hand in my life. I'm trying to simplify and focus on the important things. I had a chance to do just that this week.
My little M has an excruciating case of hand-foot-and-mouth disease. The sores are all over her lips, tongue, gums, throat, and roof of her mouth. She can't eat anything...even melted ice cream sends her into hysterics over the pain it causes her. You know it's really bad when a newly-minted 4-year-old turns down popsicles and ice cream and offers of ANYTHING she wants to eat.
You also know it's bad when M, who normally doesn't sit still long enough to start counting, snuggles on and into me for as long as I'll keep her. Oh, it breaks my heart. There is so much M needs: comfort, relief from pain, nourishment, just to name a few. But she didn't come to me asking, "Please take away the pain," or "Find me something to eat that I can eat." She came simply to be held. To be loved.
As I enveloped my little (and getting littler, thanks to h-f-a-m-d) girl yesterday, I thought of my relationship with Heavenly Father. There is so much I need. So much. But he knows that. Perhaps I need to take a break from pleading with him to provide me all of the answers, comfort, and relief that I need, and instead take some time to simply let him hold my heart. To heal my heart. When M climbed onto my lap and into my arms, her hysteria subsided and she found peace in my love. That's what I need to do: climb into my Heavenly Father's arms and feel his love and find his peace.
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